Dude Looks Like a Drug Addict

Sad news out of the entertainment world today as actor and comedian Robin Williams has reportedly checked himself into rehab. Sources close to the actor say that, although it was widely believe that Robin’s darkest days were behind him, in fact his secret addiction has only grown worse in years past.



There have been rumors and speculation about Robin and his use of illegal and prescription drugs, and alcohol, since his early days on the comedy circuit, honing his craft in California. His erratic behavior and bizarre comedy style amused millions, but those closest to the actor saw something much more sinister behind that furry exterior.

Late Wednesday night, Robin was confronted by many of his closest friends. Whoopie Goldberg, Billy Crystal, Robert DiNero, even Flubber joined together for, what has been described as a heart wrenching intervention.

At first Robin tried to deny his addiction, but his actor friends had already rifled through his drawers, finding the “smoking gun” they needed to begin to persuade Robin to seek help.



That smoking gun? Mexican jumping beans.

According to a recent national poll, nearly 80% of all Americans either have experimented themselves, or personally know someone who has experimented with Mexican jumping beans.



Mexican jumping beans first became widely available in the US in the 1950s. At first scientists and DEA officials alike were baffled, but after a decade long investigation, the source of these seemingly magical, and addictive, Mexican jumping bean was uncovered. Mexican cocaine manufactures, officials reported, had set up shop next to a forest of sebastiania shrubs. Highly addictive cocaine runoff seeped into the ground throughout the forest of shrubs, right up into their seed pods. The potent “upper” set the beans jumping. It wasn’t long before the drug manufactures notices the curious behavior of the beans, and began experimenting. Quickly the drugs were available in US markets, reaching the height of their popularity among the 1960’s psychedelic scene. The drug has waned in popularity in recent years, as other “trendier” drugs such as ecstasy and crystal meth took its place.



The drug still, sadly, has some roped in. It seems Mr. Williams was, or perhaps still is, one of them.



Robin is scheduled to make a public statement tomorrow.